Week 20: Still a marathon

No.

Steve Tierney gets the Manager of the Week certificate this week with his stonkingly massive 41 point haul.  And it's still only 'half-time' in the Group Stages of the OFFL Cup.  This also means he's climbed up eight places.  Eight!  Into ninth.

Unable to climb any places themselves, in spite of their own massive point gathering of 38, is top placed FC Maalcoma of course.  Indeed, the rest of the league let out a collective sigh of dejected disappointment this week as Manager Mal's 'inevitable' descent through the table has been replaced by the opening up of another enormous gap between his team of flukers and the chasing pack. Cold comfort is the oft-repeated fact that we're only half way through the season and, as we all know, it is a marathon, not a sprint.

A marathon.

Not a sprint.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 36 244
 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 18 219
 3 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8 23 204
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 24 203
 5 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 24 198
 5 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 12 198
 7 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 24 183
 8 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 12 182
 9 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8 41 173
10 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.4 19 172

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 24 171
12 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 12 166
13 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 21 163
14 Irishpool              Mike Smears         53.3 15 159
15 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 14 155
15 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 13 155
15 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 15 155
18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 11 117
19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  7  79
20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  7  62
21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4 26  56


                          Week's Average Points        18
                          Total Average Points        162

Week 19: Gary Lineker is the real Father Christmas

The REAL Father Christmas

Manager of the Week this week is Dave Clayton whose Pyeators claim a massive 30 points, pushing themselves up into third place.  Congratulations Mr Clayton, and a merry Christmas to you.

...and to everyone.

Now sit back, loosen the belt, pour another glass of wine and switch on the TV to casually stumble across one of the many chances to catch Match of the Day.

Or Match of the Day 2.

Etc.

Gary Lineker is the REAL Father Christmas.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 22 208

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 24 201

 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 30 186

 4 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8 21 181

 5 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 22 179

 6 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 23 174

 7 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 16 170

 8 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 13 159

 9 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  9 154

10 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  6 153

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 13 147

12 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 14 144

13 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 17 142

13 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 17 142

15 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 16 141

16 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 22 140

17 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8 10 132

18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 10 106

19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4 19  72

20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  3  55

21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4 14  30

                          Week's Average Points        16

                          Total Average Points        143

Week 18: Weeeeeee!

As our Chairman starts running around the house, forgetting that he needs the toilet and sucking the sparkly fairy lights into his mouth his bless little Christmas Excitement Overdrive is not just being triggered by thoughts of his bearded chubby double squeezing down the chimney, oh no.  It's also next week's start of the OFFL Cup First Round. WEEEEEEEE!

In the meantime, Johnny's Heroes slips down four places while Manager of the Week John King's Moobchester United [who scored a large 19 this week] now rest in sixth.

And Minty Colquhoun still thinks Darren Bent's got a major goal-scoring run left in him.  Sorry, couldn't keep that in.

Finally, everyone give Kate 'Duchess of Oxford' Wilson a Pity Come-Hither look. Her Botley Yellow lose 4 points.  She's not feeling great about it.

Be careful out there everyone.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 10 186

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2  8 177

 3 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8  0 160

 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 10 157

 5 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5  3 156

 6 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 19 154

 7 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 18 151

 8 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 14 147

 9 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 15 146

10 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  8 145

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  5 134

12 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  3 130

13 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  9 125

13 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  5 125

15 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4  8 124

16 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8 11 122

17 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 11 118

18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 -4  96

19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  3  53

20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  3  52

21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4  8  16

                          Week's Average Points         7

                          Total Average Points        127

Week 17: The Best Player-Name Wordplay Of The Year

Thanks to Newcastle's Demba Ba's two unlikely goals this week Malcolm Pratt is able to put his two fingers up at the rest of the league's Managers who all believed that his tenure at the top would be terminated. They're now collectively issuing an under-the-breath "Ba Humbug".

[That last bit of wordplay was donated to Studmarks by the League Leader himself]

Meanwhile, Rick Beecroft humbly collects his Manager of the Week certificate after going 'back to basics' with his training for RST-Boy - success comes in the form of a massive 24 points pushing his charges up into fourteenth alongside the mighty Real Mcdrid.

Of note too is Kate Wilson's steering of her Botley Yellow past the 100 point mark, leaving the struggling and lowly Moreton Rovers and West Vam to shuffle themselves around once more at the bottom of the table - their own particular pain is temporarily tempered by the sudden appearance of Mr Chris Walsh and his Lashings of Cheese.  Indeed, Chris finally joins us this season for the gory of the OFFL Cup.

I meant glory, obviously.

Glory.  Yes.

Talking of which, a reminder...

The OFFL Cup

First Round Groups

The bottom team of each group will be knocked out of the cup. To be played over the Christmas/New Year period 24th December to 6th January.  You still have plenty of time to make those cup-winning transfers.


Group A
FC Maalcoma
Johnny's Heroes
Olympilimps FC
Radnorshire Tigers
RST-BOY
Lashings of Cheese

Group B
Inter Milandrover
Multiple Scorgasms
Double's United
Real Mcdrid
Botley Yellow

Group C
Neil's Diamonds
It's A Snickers
Moobchester United
WWMC
West Vam

Group D
Pyeators
Irishpool
Minted
Livercoolio
Moreton Rovers

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 17 176

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 14 169

 3 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8  5 160

 4 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 16 153

 5 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 17 147

 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  4 137

 7 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 14 135

 8 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  6 133

 8 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 10 133

10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0  8 131

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  8 129

12 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  3 127

13 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  7 120

14 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 24 116

14 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 10 116

16 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8  6 111

17 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 14 107

18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 11 100

19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  3  50

20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  0  49

21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4  8   8

                          Week's Average Points         9

                          Total Average Points        119

Week 16: OFFL Cup Group Stage Draw

Manager of the Week this week is Inter Milandrover's Smasher.  A mid-week-fixture-assisted 29 points nudges the current Champions up into second place alongside Neil's Diamonds.  League Leaders FC Maalcoma's numerical margin of superiority is now down to just 4 points. Will Malcolm's eleven week reign at the top of the table come to end next week?

Probably.

The OFFL Cup

First Round Groups

The bottom team of each group will be knocked out of the cup. To be played over the Christmas/New Year period 24th december to 6th January.  You still have plenty of time to make those cup-winning transfers.

Group A

--------------------

FC Maalcoma

Johnny's Heroes

Olympilimps FC

Radnorshire Tigers

RST-BOY

Group B

--------------------

Inter Milandrover

Multiple Scorgasms

Double's United

Real Mcdrid

Botley Yellow

Group C

--------------------

Neil's Diamonds

It's A Snickers

Moobchester United

WWMC

West Vam

Group D

--------------------

Pyeators

Irishpool

Minted

Livercoolio

Moreton Rovers

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 23 159

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 29 155

 2 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8 26 155

 4 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 16 137

 5 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 20 133

 6 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 23 130

 7 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 24 127

 8 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 22 124

 9 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 21 123

 9 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 19 123

11 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 28 121

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 17 121

13 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 11 113

14 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 14 106

15 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8 18 105

16 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 24  93

17 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 14  92

18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 11  89

19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  2  49

20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  4  47

                          Week's Average Points        18

                          Total Average Points        115

Week 15: Bent wishes

Happy Birthday Ms Colquhoun

Manager of the Week is current OFFL Cup holder Neil McConaghy for his team's 18pt haul, pushing Neil's Diamonds up into second place in the table.

Happy 'Special' Birthday goes to the wonderfully lovely Minty for last Sunday, yet another anniversary of your 21st Birthday. Your present? Another drop in the League table. Darren Bent wishes you all the best.

Cough.



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  6 136
 2 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8 18 129
 3 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2  8 126
 4 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 12 121
 5 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  9 113
 6 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6  8 107
 7 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  6 104
 7 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  4 104
 9 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 12 103
10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 10 102
10 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 12 102
10 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  5 102

13 Moobchester United     John King           53.5  1  93
14 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  4  92
15 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8  6  87
16 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  6  78
17 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4  0  77
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  9  69
19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  4  47
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  6  43


                          Week's Average Points         7
                          Total Average Points         96
---

Week 14: Won't remember it by tomorrow

Happy Birthday Mr Smears

As we leave the 9th consecutive week of FC Maalcoma's tenure at the top, we see that the Manager of the Week this week is Neil McConaghy and his Neil's Diamonds.  They score a rather large 21 points.

Last week's Highest Climbers, Real Mcdrid, become this week's Farthest Fallers, scoring -4 and falling down eight places, returning Mr McHugh to the lower echelons of the table. Meanwhile, Sarah-Jane John's Johnny's Heroes become this week's Highest Climbers by moving up six.

And finally for this missive, we at Studmarks would like to wish Manager Mike Smears a very happy birthday for this week [Thursday]. With more birthdays than anyone else in the league, we know he'll be struggling to remember it by tomorrow.  Still, we hope he has a marvellous day all the same.

If he's awake for any of it.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 11 130

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 16 118

 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 20 112

 4 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 21 111

 5 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 19 104

 6 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  7 100

 7 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6  7  99

 8 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  5  98

 9 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 15  97

10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 11  92

10 Moobchester United     John King           53.5  6  92

12 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  2  91

13 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 14  90

14 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 -4  88

15 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  5  81

16 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  6  72

17 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4  8  71

18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  9  60

19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  2  43

20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4 -1  37

                          Week's Average Points         8

                          Total Average Points         89

Week 13: E.R. is no longer on T.V.

The handsome ER.  No longer on TV.

E.R. is no longer on T.V.  And by that, of course, of course, of course, we mean Edgar Rayner is no longer above Tom Vamos in the race for the wooden spoon.  And while Battling for Bottom sounds like they're a couple of bum fetishists, these managers of Moreton Rovers and West Vam respectively continue their attempts to keep up with Russ Bielby's woefully under-achieving Livercoolio.

At the other end of the table, with only 20 points separating second position from twelfth, the chasing pack are ever so gradually reeling leaders FC Maalcoma back into the fray.  Indeed, Manager of the Week this week is second place Smasher and the 16 points that the Current Champions, Inter Milandrover, notched up sees them become only the second team to pass the 100pt mark, moving up to the top of this crowd of bustling title challengers.

Highest climbers this week are seven-place hoppers, Real Mcdrid.  Manager Craig McHugh continues his sneaky upcreep by shuffling into joint sixth forcing fellow sixth-placer [and this week's lowest faller], Sarah Bingham and her Multiple Scorgasms, to budge up a bit.

First Round of the OFFL Cup is just a month away.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  5 119
 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 16 102
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 11  95
 4 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  6  93
 4 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  9  93
 6 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 13  92
 6 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6  3  92
 8 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  7  90
 9 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  4  89
10 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  6  86

11 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  0  85
12 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 -1  82
13 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  2  81
14 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  8  76
14 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  4  76
16 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  3  66
17 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4  0  63
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  0  51
19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  8  41
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  1  38


                          Week's Average Points         5
                          Total Average Points         80

Week 12: After you, Mr Rayner

Tom Vamos: "After you, Mr Rayner"

Manager of the Week this week is, AT LAST, Mike Smears.  His group of young whipper-snappers managed to turn up early to the Post Office this week and pull off a pension-busting heist worth 18 points.

Congratulations Mr Smears. Subsequently, Irishpool have leapt into fifteenth place in the table which is, after all, far betting faring than globe-trotting Tom Vamos.  His recent absence from the UK, tottering around Japan, has been a noticeable distraction. In fact, West Vam have allowed Edgar Rayner's Moreton Rovers past them, into nineteenth, leaving Mr Vamos in last place.

"After you, Mr Rayner".

How polite.

In the meantime, Malcolm Pratt's FC Maalcoma are doing all they can to let everyone else catch up by scoring -3 points this week.  Not quite sure what Mr Beecroft's excuse is however.

Play on.
                         
By the`way, those functionaries at OFFL HQ would like to officially apologise to Dave Clayton.  Three Umpa Lumpa's are dead now because of him.  Ahem.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 -3 114
 2 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4  7  89
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        53.6 15  88
 4 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  4  87
 5 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 14  86
 6 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 11  85
 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  8  85
 8 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  2  84
 9 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  9  83
 9 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  9  83

11 Moobchester United     John King           54.7 10  80
12 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  5  79
12 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  7  79
14 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  0  72
15 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 18  68
16 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  3  63
17 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 -3  53
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  5  51
19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  5  37
20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  0  33


                          Week's Average Points         6
                          Total Average Points         74
---

Week 11: Inside Mally's Skull

Big Mal's Skull after it had been
prised open to check for sunshine

It's cold, it's dark. And that's just Malcolm Pratt's general outlook on life, including his prospects at the start of this season. Presently, however, were you to prise open the big fella's beautiful skull you'd see a completely different disposition, sunnier say, thanks to his FC Maalcoma still sitting pretty atop the table of Fantasy. And all this because the lead Mr Pratt's men have on the rest of the field is so fat that not even a few weeks of others catching up can make much of a dent [in his lead, disposition, skull etc].

This week's Manager of the Week is Rachel Jones whose Double's United notched up 18 points to push themselves up seven points into third.  Remarkably, however, it is Sarah-Jane John's jolly Johnny's Heroes jumping highest this week. Up eight into sixth.

Other than that, furrow your brow and look at West Vam.  While the manager is away in Japland, his untillered team take a turn for the terrible.  -2 points.

Yes, minus two.

Happy Birthday Craig McHugh for Monday.  So far so good.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  8 117
 2 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 15  91
 3 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 18  83
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4 12  82
 4 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 -1  82
 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 17  77
 7 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6 12  74
 7 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  8  74
 7 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  8  74
 7 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 11  74

11 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.1  7  72
11 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  5  72
11 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  4  72
14 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  5  70
15 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  6  60
16 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4  7  56
17 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 11  50
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  9  46
19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7 -2  33
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  6  32


                          Week's Average Points         8
                          Total Average Points         69
---

Week 09 & 10: Massive Leap

Craig McHugh massively leaps six

Minted and the Pyeators make up another 4 points on Leaders Maalcoma whilst the Manager of the Week certificate this week goes to the wonderful Craig McHugh. 17 points sees his Real Mcdrid massively leap six places in the league into sixth.

Everyone look in shame at Rachel Jones. Down six.

Such a shame, such a shame.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  9 109
 2 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 13  83
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 13  76
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4  6  70
 5 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  7  68
 6 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 17  67
 7 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 13  66
 7 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  8  66
 9 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.1 16  65
 9 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  0  65
 9 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  7  65

12 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  3  63
13 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  6  62
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 10  60
15 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 15  54
16 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 15  49
17 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  6  39
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  6  37
19 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  1  35
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4 -1  26


                          Week's Average Points         8
                          Total Average Points         61

Week 08: Glass Ceilings

They must break through the glass ceiling

Dave Clayton uses another 'Manager of the Week' week to climb into fifth after a certificate grabbing 22 points were gobbled up by his Pyeators. Also this week, Malcolm Pratt's FC Maalcoma has ALREADY passed the 100-point mark with the chasing pack languishing 30+ points behind and Minty Colquhoun's Minted cruising into second.

Meanwhile, with only one male manager in the top four positions in the league, Studmarks poses the question: is it time to call upon the OFFL to bring incentives in for male managers to break through their perceived low-achieving status-ceiling in Fantasy Football? Should male-only lists be drawn up?

You're all lovely.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 13 100
 2 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 19  70
 3 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.1  7  65
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4 14  64
 5 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 22  63
 6 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.6 13  61
 7 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  6  60
 8 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  4  58
 8 Moobchester United     John King           54.7 14  58
10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  7  56

11 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  6  53
12 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  6  50
12 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  5  50
14 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.4 18  49
15 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 17  39
16 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.9 13  35
17 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  4  34
18 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.8 11  33
19 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 19  31
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  6  27


                          Week's Average Points        11
                          Total Average Points         52
---

Week 07: Gripping

Gripping

Manager of the Week is Dave Clayton.  His Pyeaters scoffed a large 24 point portion.

Highest climbers this week are Neil's Diamonds as they jump up ten paces into third.

It's been a gripping week.




T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       54.8 18  87
 2 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.1  3  58
 3 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  3  54
 3 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 16  54
 5 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  4  51
 6 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4  9  50
 7 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  7  49
 8 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.6  3  48
 9 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.9 18  47
10 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  7  45

11 Moobchester United     John King           54.7 11  44
11 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.7  9  44
13 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 24  41
14 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.4  0  31
15 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  1  30
16 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 13  22
16 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.8  7  22
16 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.9 14  22
19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4 -1  21
20 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 -1  12


                          Week's Average Points         8
                          Total Average Points         41

Week 06: Pelaton

Malcolm Pratt's over-the-shoulder view.  Say it: "Pelaton".

What do you mean a couple of weeks behind?  How dare you?

No, YOU shut up.

Manager of the Week this week is Malcolm Pratt again. But this week his FC Maalcoma have notched up a massive 27 points to put themselves 14 points ahead of the pelaton.

And lo, a word that was unknown to Studmarks before the Olympics has been seemlessly absorbed into the OFFL vocabulary.

Pelaton.

Pelaton.

Go on, have a pop at it.  Swill it around your mouth and try it out for yourself.

Pelaton.

That's right.

Pelaton.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       54.8 27  69
 2 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.1 17  55
 3 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  6  51
 4 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 15  47
 5 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.6 10  45
 6 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6 12  42
 7 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4 17  41
 8 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  5  38
 8 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  9  38
10 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.7 11  35

11 Moobchester United     John King           54.7 13  33
12 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7  6  31
13 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7 11  29
13 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.9  8  29
15 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4 12  22
16 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8  7  17
17 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.8  6  15
18 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  5  13
19 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  3   9
20 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.9 15   8


                          Week's Average Points        10
                          Total Average Points         33

Weeks 04 & 05: Point Fine

The OFFL Rules were nailed up for all to see

Back in the old days, in spite of the Hallowed OFFL Rules being nailed to a Wittenburg Castle church door for all to see [pre-internet obviously], if a manager was to try and submit a transfer, or set of transfers, that would render his or her team illegitimate, an immediate Point Fine would be levied upon that manager's team.

Since then, and after a particularly nefarious spate of attempts to get illegal teams past Our Most Gracious Chairman, the latest technology was applied in developing the tools to make it almost impossible for a normal Homo Sapiens to come up with a wrong selection.  We're talking about the dastardly sophisticated 'SelectYourTeam' spreadsheet.

Since the widespread use of this spreadsheet tool, no manager has submitted an erroneous team.

Well, most erring errers are allowed at least one second chance at any rate.  But when that errer makes a second attempt to slip an illegality [without even the offer of a bribe] past the Chairman then it's time to warm up the wagging finger.

And this season, the digit of discipline indignantly dithers in the face of Rick Beecroft - after trying to get three Chelsea players into his team, he then changed tack and went for three Arsenal players instead.

After firstly dropping hints to 'Studmarks' journalists, the OFFL Police were on to the situation immediately.

OFFL HQ have issued an instant 30 point fine to RST-BOY, pending an appeal.  Beecroft commented "I'll have your job for this you pleb", directing his ire at a uniformed Umpa Lumpa.

The Chairman was unavailable for comment though was observed, through a thick cloud of cigar smoke, leaning back in his reclining throne with a smug grin on his chubby little face.

Manager of the Week this week is Malcolm Pratt.  He steered his sterling steers to a weekly steerage of 13 points moving his FC Maalcoma into second pace in the league.

Highest climbers are Neil McConaghy's Neil's Diamonds and Sarah Bingham's Multiple Scorgasms: both up five places.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 -1  45

 2 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       54.8 13  42

 3 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.1  7  38

 4 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.6 12  35

 5 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  5  33

 6 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 10  32

 7 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6  9  30

 8 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 11  29

 9 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7  6  25

10 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4 10  24

10 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.7  0  24

12 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.9  0  23

13 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.9 -2  21

14 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  2  20

15 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  3  18

16 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  7  10

16 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8  3  10

18 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.8  6   9

19 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  7   8

20 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 -1   6

                          Week's Average Points         5

                          Total Average Points         24