Week 17: The Best Player-Name Wordplay Of The Year

Thanks to Newcastle's Demba Ba's two unlikely goals this week Malcolm Pratt is able to put his two fingers up at the rest of the league's Managers who all believed that his tenure at the top would be terminated. They're now collectively issuing an under-the-breath "Ba Humbug".

[That last bit of wordplay was donated to Studmarks by the League Leader himself]

Meanwhile, Rick Beecroft humbly collects his Manager of the Week certificate after going 'back to basics' with his training for RST-Boy - success comes in the form of a massive 24 points pushing his charges up into fourteenth alongside the mighty Real Mcdrid.

Of note too is Kate Wilson's steering of her Botley Yellow past the 100 point mark, leaving the struggling and lowly Moreton Rovers and West Vam to shuffle themselves around once more at the bottom of the table - their own particular pain is temporarily tempered by the sudden appearance of Mr Chris Walsh and his Lashings of Cheese.  Indeed, Chris finally joins us this season for the gory of the OFFL Cup.

I meant glory, obviously.

Glory.  Yes.

Talking of which, a reminder...

The OFFL Cup

First Round Groups

The bottom team of each group will be knocked out of the cup. To be played over the Christmas/New Year period 24th December to 6th January.  You still have plenty of time to make those cup-winning transfers.


Group A
FC Maalcoma
Johnny's Heroes
Olympilimps FC
Radnorshire Tigers
RST-BOY
Lashings of Cheese

Group B
Inter Milandrover
Multiple Scorgasms
Double's United
Real Mcdrid
Botley Yellow

Group C
Neil's Diamonds
It's A Snickers
Moobchester United
WWMC
West Vam

Group D
Pyeators
Irishpool
Minted
Livercoolio
Moreton Rovers

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 17 176

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 14 169

 3 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.8  5 160

 4 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 16 153

 5 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 17 147

 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  4 137

 7 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 14 135

 8 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  6 133

 8 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 10 133

10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0  8 131

11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  8 129

12 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  3 127

13 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  7 120

14 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       52.4 24 116

14 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 10 116

16 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8  6 111

17 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 14 107

18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2 11 100

19 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  3  50

20 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  0  49

21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4  8   8

                          Week's Average Points         9

                          Total Average Points        119

Week 01: Sustainable Legacy

Our Chairman is still AT LARGE. And yes, most certainly, in more ways than one. Not only is He Out There, terrorising the Fantasyland locals outside of the law but he also remains his rotundly unthin self, wobbling from one 'social experiment' to another, braces astrain.

Which brings us onto His latest shockingly horrific carcrash of a social experiment.

Some of you may have thought that it was only a matter of time, or probability, while others have put their faith in this world not being quite That Sick. Alas, we now must treat these thoughts as potential reality. The point of this paragraph? Ah, yes, to inform the OFFL membership [you] that the sustainable legacy of the OFFL is being taken care of.

In the form of a Chairman Mini-Me.

The secret laboratory where most of the development is being carried out for this Super Umpa Lumpa is, well, secret. In fact, so controversial is this Shelleyesque nightmare that not even The Sun have been willing to break ranks with the rest of the British press sleaze and publish their usual unfounded speculative silliness.

We're sure there will more news scratching its way into your regular issue of Studmarks over the coming season. And while you're busy, either picking your team or watching your points rack up [or down] this week, why not waste more time with the following...

Any Other Business

One of our managers, Rachel, has given us this http://goo.gl/GBzIL ... pop by and sponsor her if you feel you can. She's doing it for her Ma.

Congratulations to Mr Smears who has seen his career opportunities expand exponentially after achieving an 'A' in his Spanish 'A' Level exam. If only he weren't retired. [Mrs Smears, age 26, achieved an A*. That needed to be mentioned]


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.9 11  11
 2 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  8   8
 2 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.7  8   8
 2 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       54.8  8   8
 5 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  6   6
 5 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.9  6   6
 5 Double's United        Rachel Jones        55.0  6   6
 8 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  3   3
 9 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  2   2
10 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8  1   1

11 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  0   0
12 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.8 -1  -1
12 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 -1  -1
14 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.8 -3  -3


                          Week's Average Points         3
                          Total Average Points          3