 |
| No damage whatsoever to the credibility of the administration of the OFFL. |
Meanwhile, magnanimous mention must go to Malcolm [Pratt] for his FC Maalcoma's 23-week unbroken reign at the top of the table from Week 6 onwards. For a moment there, the Mally Factor looked indestructible. Highest lady, reminding her friends of her old college days, is Sarah Bingbong who put on a very good show indeed [headpat, headpat]. Even the failed transfer request to swap Suarez for Tevez wasez entertainingez.
 |
| Highest Scoring Players this season |
Fine efforts, one and all. But what of the cup?
OFFL Cup Final
Result
Olympilimps FC 20 v 13 Real McdridGavin Ward Craig McHugh
Congratulations Gavin Ward for winning the Match of the Day Annual 2013. A victory by 7 points thanks mainly to final day goals from G Bale TOT and T Walcott ARS. Ward's Manager of the Week certificate winning 20 point haul by his Olympilimps FC guaranteed cup victory over the 2011 OFFL Cup Winners Real Mcdrid.On learning of his victory, Gavin Ward released this press statement:
---
"I'm not going to say it was fate that led this victory to me, more that my worthy opponent let it slip through his buttery fingers. The minutes of intense concentration that went into the weekly review of the premier league have paid dividends that are far greater than I could have dreamed.
"I'd like to thank Google search, the BBC website and the mouse wheel of luck for supporting me through this tough season. It is only fitting that I retire from the league with immediate effect with this unprecedented success still fresh in everyone's mind..... in order to plan a dramatic comeback in time for the new season.
"Thank you to the Studmarks crew for running such a tight ship and getting results out on time almost every week....
"ahh - success has such a good taste, don't you think?"On learning of his defeat Craig McHugh's Real Madrid PR Machine went spinning into action culminating in this statement:--- Gavin Ward
"The lads played well ‘arry’ but on the day were beaten by the better team… Pele is the greatest footballer in the world but unfortunately we didn’t have him!!How benevolent.
"Congratulations go to OLYMPILIMPS FC and Mr Ward on a great game – I thought on the day we were going to witness another one of those Wigan / Man City stories, with 'las minnows' (our new nickname!!) taking the crown - alas we were eaten by the kingfisher of life.
"As no substitutions were made, ultimately the responsibility for the defeat falls to me, I’ll therefore be resigning with immediate effect and moving to Italy taking up a higher paid (although less rewarding) vacancy in the sun, (Not!!)
"Congratulations also to Inter Milandrover on a great campaign and winning the league + next season’s key signing of Matilda in goal?? Until the next kick-off.. Adiós Real Mcdrid.
"All the very best, take care and i'm off weep in my orange juice..."---Craig McHugh
And with that we, here at Studmarks, bid you all a fond farewell. It's been comforting to see the League bottom being scraped by the 'experimental' team of musicians that Tom Vamos constructed. Though 96 points adrift is something special, isn't it? The Bookies slept well over that one. It has also been lovely to share the banterous nonsense with the usual suspects so thank you all for taking part.
---
OFFL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 2012/2013
Inter Milandrover, Smasher [474 points]
OFFL LEAGUE RUNNERS UP
Pyeators, Dave Clayton [468 points]
2013 OFFL CUP WINNERS
Olympilimps, Gavin Ward
2013 Cup Runners Up
Real Mcdrid, Craig McHugh
AND FINALLY...
As with any season-end the boffins at OFFL HQ like to attempt the construction of a 'Team of the Year'. A team that, imagining that no transfers were made during the season, would have been unbeatable in the League this season. So far the highest scoring total is 630 points. Studmarks reckons you might be able to beat that because, as with anything the OFFL seems to do, it's largely based on educated guesswork and very little Quality Thinking Time. Have a look at this [http://j.mp/SelectYourTeam] and see if you can outpuzzle the Umpa-Lumpa boffins. If you manage a total greater than 630, OFFL'll shoot three of them.Here's their effort...
Team 22: Team of the Year? Lge Pos: 1
Manager: OFFL Points
Value Final
PIN Pos Name Team (M) Week Total
1 115 GK J Hart MC 4.6 1 40
2 155 FB L Baines EVE 4.5 -1 47
3 208 FB J O'Brien WH 3.1 -1 28
4 261 CB G Cameron STO 3.5 2 15
5 222 CB D Luiz CHE 4.7 0 45
6 565 MF Michu SWA 3.9 0 58
7 453 MF G Bale TOT 5.4 3 79
8 297 MF S Cazorla ARS 4.4 8 60
9 322 MF J Mata CHE 5.3 3 67
10 505 ST L Suarez LIV 7.1 0 89
11 486 ST R van Persie ARS 8.5 3 102
Totals 55.0 18 630
Can you beat it?
Yeah, right.
Next season then?
Yeah, right.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.1 13 474
2 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.0 14 468
3 FC Maalcoma Malcolm Pratt 54.0 11 452
4 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 55.0 12 444
5 Multiple Scorgasms Sarah Bingham 54.6 12 439
6 WWMC Steve Tierney 54.7 15 424
7 Olympilimps FC Gavin Ward 54.2 20 416
8 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.4 9 393
9 RST-BOY Rick Beecroft 54.6 15 382
10 Moobchester United John King 53.5 11 372
12 Minted Minty Colquhoun 53.7 14 350
13 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 54.1 13 344
14 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 5 337
15 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.1 13 336
16 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.5 9 333
17 Livercoolio Russ Bielby 54.6 11 316
18 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.6 14 314
19 Botley Yellow Kate Wilson 54.2 5 245
20 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 51.4 8 184
21 West Vam Tom Vamos 43.7 5 88
Week's Average Points 11
Total Average Points 356
---
=============================
MEANINGLESS TABLES OF STATS
-----------------------------
You love this bit.
Goalkeeper of the Season:
115 GK J Hart MC £4.6 40
Full Back of the Season:
155 FB L Baines EVE £4.5 47
Centre Back of the Season:
222 CB D Luiz CHE £4.7 45
Midfielder of the Season:
453 MF G Bale TOT £5.4 79
Striker of the Season:
486 ST R van Persie ARS £8.5 102
BEST VALUE FOR MONEY PLAYERS
============================
PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total pts/£
---------------------------------------------
565 MF Michu SWA £3.9 58 14.87
453 MF G Bale TOT £5.4 79 14.63
297 MF S Cazorla ARS £4.4 60 13.64
302 MF T Walcott ARS £5.2 66 12.69
322 MF J Mata CHE £5.3 67 12.64
505 ST L Suarez LIV £7.1 89 12.54
486 ST R van Persie ARS £8.5 102 12.00
609 ST C Benteke AV £5.5 65 11.82
331 MF M Fellaini EVE £4.0 45 11.25
493 ST R Lukaku CHE £6.0 65 10.83
155 FB L Baines EVE £4.5 47 10.44
538 ST R Lambert SOT £5.7 59 10.35
-----------------------------
TOP SCORING PLAYERS BY POSITION
Goalkeeper----------
PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total
-------------------------------------------
115 GK J Hart MC £4.6 40
106 GK P Cech CHE £4.4 28
113 GK J Reina LIV £4.0 25
117 GK D De Gea MU £4.5 24
101 GK W Szczesny ARS £4.1 21
108 GK T Howard EVE £3.7 19
127 GK A Begovic STO £3.3 17
591 GK H Lloris TOT £3.8 16
 |
| The Best Goalkeepers |
Full Back --------- PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total ------------------------------------------- 155 FB L Baines EVE £4.5 47 152 FB B Ivanovic CHE £4.7 40 162 FB G Johnson LIV £4.2 40 169 FB P Evra MU £5.0 40 161 FB J Enrique LIV £4.1 38 153 FB A Cole CHE £4.9 34 575 FB C Azpilicueta CHE £4.4 30 165 FB P Zabaleta MC £4.7 30 208 FB J O'Brien WH £3.1 28 167 FB G Clichy MC £4.9 27  |
| The Best Full Backs |
Centre Back
-----------
PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total
-------------------------------------------
222 CB D Luiz CHE £4.7 45
214 CB P Mertesacker ARS £4.2 41
232 CB D Agger LIV £4.2 35
273 CB J Vertonghen TOT £4.1 32
242 CB J Evans MU £4.9 28
595 CB M Nastasic MC £4.6 26
272 CB S Bassong TOT £3.8 26
227 CB S Distin EVE £3.9 25
228 CB P Jagielka EVE £4.0 25
238 CB V Kompany MC £5.2 25
 |
| The Best Centre Backs |
Midfielder ---------- PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total ------------------------------------------- 453 MF G Bale TOT £5.4 79 322 MF J Mata CHE £5.3 67 302 MF T Walcott ARS £5.2 66 297 MF S Cazorla ARS £4.4 60 565 MF Michu SWA £3.9 58 348 MF S Gerrard LIV £5.8 52 323 MF F Lampard CHE £5.9 47 331 MF M Fellaini EVE £4.0 45 478 MF S Maloney WIG £3.8 36 332 MF S Pienaar EVE £4.0 34 384 MF R Snodgrass NOR £3.8 34 468 MF K Nolan WH £3.9 34  |
| The Best Midfielders |
Striker ------- PIN Pos Surname Club_Value Total ------------------------------------------- 486 ST R van Persie ARS £8.5 102 505 ST L Suarez LIV £7.1 89 609 ST C Benteke AV £5.5 65 493 ST R Lukaku CHE £6.0 65 538 ST R Lambert SOT £5.7 59 514 ST W Rooney MU £8.0 56 510 ST E Dzeko MC £7.0 54 482 ST L Podolski ARS £6.6 53 492 ST E Hazard CHE £6.8 53 516 ST D Ba NEW £6.4 53  |
| The Best Strikers |
