Week 31: OFFL Cup Results

NORM_N COLL_ER: M_Y HE RES_ IN _EACE

Without further ado we chicken-walk over to the...

OFFL Cup

Third Round, results

Week 31

 Olympilimps FC    9  v  0  Johnny's Heroes
     Gavin Ward             Sarah-Jane John

         Minted   12  v 11  Multiple Scorgasms
Minty Colquhoun             Sarah Bingham

 Neil's Diamonds   6  v  5  Lashings of Cheese
  Neil McConaghy            Chris Walsh

     Real Mcdrid  10  v  8  FC Maalcoma
    Craig McHugh            Malcolm Pratt


This round has produced the closest fought fixtures of any round of any season so far. Apart from Olympilimps' mauling of Johnny's Heroes - none of THEM received a hero's welcome we can confirm. None of them none of them n-n-n-n-none of them n-n-n-n- etc etc.

Pitched against any other opponent and her Scorgasms would have erupted through to the next round but Bingham was beaten by the better bint: Mint.  And with her Minted's weekly score of 12 pts, Ms Colquhoun also wins the Manager of the Week certificate to boot.  Congratulations Ma'am.

Meanwhile, poor Chris Walsh.  A season in tatters.  On a mission to win the cup and Neil's Diamonds carat-ee chop him off in his prime.  Gone too are one time League favourites FC Maalcoma, and good Mcdriddance.  Defeated by two points by the former Cup winners Real Mcdrid, of course.  S'what was being referred to by the 'Mcdriddance' thing.  Made that up.  Just for you.  You lucky people.

SO!

We have the semi-final teams all decided.  Congratulations to: Gavin Ward, Minty Colquhoun, Neil McConaghy and Craig McHugh.  One of you will receive this year's OFFL prize... the Match of the Day 2013 Annual.

And you WILL receive it.  Trust me.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.7  7 367
 2 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  8 350
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        55.0  7 349
 4 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      55.0  6 343
 5 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 11 338
 6 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          55.0  9 307
 7 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  8 300
 7 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8  6 300
 9 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.6  9 295
10 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 11 290
11 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.6  2 282
12 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  4 267
13 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 12 264
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  0 249
15 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 10 244
16 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.1  5 229
17 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6  5 225
18 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.6  5 202
19 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  0 178
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  5 138
21 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  5  78


                          Week's Average Points         6
                          Total Average Points        266

Week 26: Minty's Minted Mounts Mission [for the Cup]

In a week where it was ALL about the weekly score, Minty Colquhoun's Manager of the Week certificate-winning 24 points not only secures the implied pointless piece of papyrus proclaiming point pertinence but also ensures passage past her poor opponents into the next round of the OFFL Cup - knocking out reigning League Champions, Inter Milandrover, at that.

Meanwhile, Pyeators crash out to Lashings of Cheese and FC Maalcoma only just slip past Steve Tierney's Wymondham Working Mens Club. AND Sarah-Jane John's Johnny's Heroes...

Oooof it was close.

Leaf it out

Also of note, three out of four lady managers cruise through to the next round too.  Just saying.  No agenda there.  Masculinism/Feminism rules, yay.

[Gets coat]

We're off to put some money on Gavin Ward's Olympilimps.  Weeeell, why not?

The OFFL Cup

ROUND TWO, Results

           Real Mcdrid   6 v   5  Irishpool
       Double's United   6 v  10  Olympilimps FC
     Inter Milandrover  17 v  24  Minted
       It's A Snickers  11 v  21  Multiple Scorgasms
       Neil's Diamonds  21 v  18  Livercoolio
       Johnny's Heroes  11 v  10  Moobchester United
                  WWMC  11 v  12  FC Maalcoma
    Lashings of Cheese  12 v   4  Pyeators

Through to Round Three...

TEAM                   MANAGER
--------------------------------------
Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh
Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward
Minted                 Minty Colquhoun
Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham
Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy
Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John
FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt
Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh




T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 12 326
 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.7 17 298
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.9  4 294
 4 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      55.0 21 285
 5 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6 21 283
 6 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  6 260
 7 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.8 11 251
 8 Moobchester United     John King           53.5 10 249
 9 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          54.7 10 244
10 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  5 232

11 RST-BOY                Rick Beecroft       54.6 14 227
11 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 24 227
13 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.4 11 223
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 11 213
15 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1  6 206
16 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         54.6 18 205
17 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.1 19 197
18 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.2  4 162
19 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.4 12 140
20 Moreton Rovers         Edgar Rayner        51.4  4 121
21 West Vam               Tom Vamos           43.7  0  68


                          Week's Average Points        11
                          Total Average Points        224